So I decided to get “scientific” with this gender thing, remembering a series I saw made by the BBC on brain sex.  I took their quiz; six parts to tell me if my brain is more man, or more woman.  If you’re interested in this (not super scientific test, more of a meme) go ahead and take it before you read more; here’s my score:

I managed to score…zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Origin. 1>score<-1.   Gender neutral…right?

I don’t think so.  Let’s go over how this test works, part by part (note that their disclaimer reads, “Bear in mind that your performance may be affected by many factors in addition to gender, like age and intelligence.”  That’s how I’m about to debunk this.  That, and sexuality.

Part 1 of this test is angles. “This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space.” Hmm…spacial tasks…I am pretty sure those are on just about every I.Q. test I’ve ever seen.  Let’s see how I did in relation to the rest of the world:

Your score: 20 out of 20
Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20
Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20

Well,  color me unsurprised that this test assumes that men are smarter at this spacial stuff than us women.  But scientist have been telling women for years that we suck at math, logic, and “spacial concepts,” and we continue to buy into this crap.  I look around myself and see…just me, the lone female engineer in my group.  It must be because I have a manly brain – not because of my I.Q., right?  Or – we could get into a discussion about how sexuality is influenced by brain architecture – gay women have more “male” brains, gay men have more “female” brains, but I fall right smack in the middle of THAT spectrum as well (did I just back up that argument? No…no, I didn’t).

Spot the difference…”This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects.”

Your score: 75%
Average score for men: 39%
Average score for women: 46%

Well, that makes perfect sense.  I mean, everyone knows men are totally clueless when it comes to noticing mild differences.  Did your husband ever notice when you went and got a new haircut? No. Funny, most of the men I work with can spot a millimeter difference on a lead wire…

Part 2 – hands!  I was asked to clasp my hands together and see which thumb rests on top.  (Go ahead and do it now before you read my results, in case you want to take this later and need an unbiased result).

Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorize that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes.

Well, I was ambidextrous in elementary school until my 1st grade teacher (literally) beat it out of me, and I stopped using my left hand.  I’m pretty sure that what hand is dominant is also determined by what half of your brain is dominant, so this could be skewed by my premature rejection of ambiness…

Part 3 is all about emotions.  Well, I’m not that great of am empathizer; I can empathize if necessary, but it’s not one of my strengths (can we blame this on me being an only child? please?).  I’m logical, less willing to sympathize, more willing to say “ok, this sucks, but let’s see how we can move on from this and make it NOT suck anymore.” That’s just me – I’d rather solve problems than dwell on them. So I was not surprised when I saw my results here…

Your empathy score is: 6 out of 20
Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20
Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20

What does your result suggest?
Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people’s emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising.

Next part…systemising! Now we’re talking.

Your systemising score is: 18 out of 20
Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20
Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20

What does your result suggest?
Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you’re good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising.

Well, I think I just explained all this when I was talking about my empathising score. I’m glad I took this test so it could tell me more about myself that I already know.

Next part, eyes. “This task tested your ability to judge people’s emotions.”

Your score: 5 out of 10
Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10
Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10

I’ll chalk this up with my lack of empathy; I apparently am clueless about people’s emotions.  This probably explains why people have to hit me over the head with a baseball bat in order for me to know they’re interested in me.  “If you scored 4 – 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people’s emotions.”

Next I had to measure my ring/index fingers on both hands, which essentially told me…I have women’s hands, IF the length of fingers are, indeed, influenced by being exposed to testosterone while in the womb.

Next was faces you prefer; whether they are more masculine or feminine.  Since I had to pick either men or women as a sexual preference (no option for both, sadly) I went with women, and ended up finding out – shocker – I prefer a more feminine face.  However, preferences for women tend to be gray and “influenced by menstrual cycle;” aka, scientist belive that we prefer more masculine faces when we’re ovulating (which is apparently not true for me, but we can just blame that on my pesky bisexuality).

Next test? 3D shapes. Whee! “This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes.”

Your score: 10 out of 12
Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12
Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12

If you scored 10 – 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain.

Did anyone else read that to mean “engineers or people with science backgrounds tend to have a more male brain?” Yeah, thought so.

Words; I like words; right now I’m writing just to…hear myself type ;)

Your score: you associated 14 word(s) with grey and you named 7 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct.

Average score for men: 11.4 words total
Average score for women: 12.4 words total

What does your result suggest? If you produced 6 – 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain. Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone.

Well, I have quite an extensive vocabulary thanks to my father; I especially love using sesquipedalians, and try to write every day (this blog is one exersize of that, despite my lack of readers).

So what did this test tell me, overall?  That scientists (or at least, those the BBC used for these exersizes) still think that women are more emotional, less mathematical, and more talkative.  Men are stoic, sciency types with little emotional I.Q. but a penchant for spacial puzzles.

So I’m gender neutral.  Well, I was a tomboy when I was a kid, I date both men and women (though women are much easier on the eyes, no offense guys), and my I.Q. is…well, let’s put it this way, I wouldn’t have any trouble getting into Mensa.  All of these factors influence whether this test can correctly predict my brain’s sex. Which apparently was designed to support prominent western gender sterotypes.

Take the test and post your answers, and whether you think they’re accurate or not, in the comments!

I remember well my days playing Tekken 3 with the honors engineers of Rutgers University. My proficiency at the game (really, I just pressed every button at once, as fast as I could) seemed to impress them, elevating my status in their minds. If you were to test the suitability of a possible new gf/bf, what would you use?

I think it might have been the fact that you had no idea what you were doing but still wanted to try that impressed them.  I don’t think that I need to have everything in common with my significant other, so I don’t have a list of suitability requirements when screening potential partners.  It would be nice if they were interested in a few of the things that I enjoy, but even if they just try something new with me and hate it so much they never want to do it again, that would make me just as happy.  I guess my list of suitability questions would be short, and just require an open mind for new experiences.

Engineers of all sorts are adept at building things…putting things together…figuring out the right tools and building blocks for optimal functionality. What would you put into a first date emergency kit?

It depends on what we were doing on the first date…if I ever take someone to a waterfall in winter again, I’ll bring a first aid kit and blankets.  But if we’re talking “in case the date goes really well,” maybe fixings for a late-night snack would be in order.

Speaking of building things (holla to all you civic engineers), how would you work toward building a strong foundation for a long-term relationship?

I lasted over three years with someone who was constantly flipping the toilet paper roll around the opposite way of how I like it to hang.  We were constantly joking around about our T.P. war.  Understanding what is and isn’t important to the person you are with is probably the fastest way to build a foundation for a long-term relationship.  You need to support them on the things they care about, just as you expect them to support you with what matters in your life.  And you need to laugh while figuring it all out.

I would expect nothing less from an engineer than optimum efficiency, and I assume that you would expect the same from a prospective suitor. For all of us non-engineers, what is the most efficient way to get a hot young engineer in bed?
I assume that you always have a contingency plan, right? What do you suggest readers do to bail out of an obviously unsuccessful date?

I’ve seen on television where people work out very elaborate plans such as “call me at some predetermined time and if my date blows I’ll claim an emergency!” Really, why go to such extremes – if it’s not meant to be, cut your losses early.  Usually if a date is going sour to the point you want to bail, it’s probably the first few; I believe it is entirely reasonable to just tell the person, “look, this isn’t working for me,” and end the date at that. There is no need for helicopters or men in black suits, I promise.

I have a really tight-knit group of friends, and my man doesn’t seem comfortable around them. How can I help him feel like a true part of my posse?

He’s not a part of your posse; he’s your boyfriend.  Depending on how long you’ve been together, this could just be an issue of time; adding a new person to a very close group of friends is never easy, and you have to expect a new man – trying to be on his best behavior so all your friends will like and approve of him – might feel at least a little intimidated.

My man and I are always working. Always. We barely have the time left over for each other. It drives me crazy that he thinks that watching CSI together is sufficient for bonding. What would you suggest as an ideal quickie date for us?

Why not make a TV picnic to watch in front of CSI?  Some of my favorite dates are ones where we didn’t go anywhere; I’m a sucker for snuggling up on the couch with someone and watching a movie.  Alternatively, you could suggest he accompany you to whatever you do to decompress after working.

My boyfriend can’t make a move without asking for his dad’s opinion. It drives me crazy, because I feel he ignores my input as a result. What should I do?

Dump him.  No, really…if your significant other doesn’t have you ranked significantly enough, it’s probably time to find someone who will.  If you really don’t want to dump him, then it’s time to have a serious sit-down where you talk about your expectations of him, tell him to grow up, be a man, and stop calling daddy every time he needs to make a decision.

I burp in front my boyfriend. He sometimes uses his Ped Egg when we’re watching TV. I get the feeling our great romance is dead. How can we rekindle that early-relationship passion?
I have a friend who constantly cyber-stalks every promising guy she meets, consequently freaking herself out with what she finds. How can I convince her to stop being so judgmental? On the other side of things, where do you think people should draw the line when drawing up their profiles?

This is one reason why I hate so-called social networking sites; so much information about us is out there for anyone to find, and some of it might not be something we want people to find.  Remind your friend that she really can’t judge someone by their online profile; you probably have no idea when it was last updated, and also remind her that her behavior is not only desperate, it is very, very creepy.

Sometimes, I’m feeling less than sexual, and all I want to do is cuddle. My bf often misinterprets this to mean that I’m looking for some “sexy time.” How can I be sure I’m sending the right message?

Did you tell him, “I just feel like cuddling tonight?”  Because that seems like it would be hard to misinterpret.  I really don’t understand when people insist on “sending signals” instead of just saying what they mean/want. It gets you where you need to be much faster.

I’ve just been dumped in the worst way, and am feeling a bit vengeful. Should I give in to these feelings? No? How can I distract myself from my burgeoning feelings of homicidal rage?

It depends on what the revenge is; if it’s living well, moving on, and finding someone who won’t treat you like a piece of dirt, then yes.  If it involves saran-wrapping his car shut in the middle of the night so he’s late for work, congratulations!  You’ve just sunk to the level of my friend’s 16 year old sister.   I’ve had some shitty dumpings, and so have my friends (a six month relationship ended in a myspace comment? really??) and I really think the best thing to do is just move on.  Do you really want to be “that psycho obsessed ex” they’re talking to all their friends about once you’ve “had your revenge?”  I didn’t think so.

I’m so intimidated by the bar scene, and especially freeze up when a girl I’m interested in is surrounded by all of her bffs. What’s the secret to breaking the ice with a large group of gorgeous gals?

Don’t be intimidated!  They’re probably complaining to each other about the fact that no one is coming over and talking to them!  First approach them as a group, introducing yourself, asking how they’re all doing, and maybe some more idle chit-chat before bringing the conversation around to the one you like.

What do you look for when choosing your ideal wingman?

Cynicism, and a complete and total distrust of the entire human race.  Maybe it’s because I’m a woman, but I don’t take a wingman out for the same reasons men do; my wingman is there to help me cut through all the bullshit that is flying around whenever people are hitting on other people.

I get the feeling that I’ve scared off women in the past with my intensity. How can I make sure that I’m not coming on too strong?

If you really like someone, it’s hard NOT to come on strong; I’ve definitely been there.  However, you can’t assume that just because you are so totally into her, that she is equally as into you.  Sometimes, let her be the one to call you, and ask a friends advice before proposing another date. They might keep you from asking for a weekend away together before she’s even ready to consider an overnight.

I’m in a monogamous relationship, but continue to have dreams about my ex. Does this mean anything? How can I explore these feelings for my ex without hurting everyone involved?

It means you’re still processing whatever happened between the two of you. Really, I don’t think “a dream is a wish your heart makes,” because if that were true, then my heart would like pirates to take over the world today, and for me to be the leader of an underground ninja resistance movement.  And I think pirates are way cooler than ninjas in real life.  You don’t ever need to “explore feelings for [your] ex” because they’re your ex for a reason!  You broke up for good reason, remember them well, and try not to over-analyze your dreams.  Focus on the person you are with right now so you’re not having ex-dreams of them in a few months.