LOUD cell phone conversateurs
Circle I Limbo
CT Drivers
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
NAMBLA Members
Circle IV Rolling Weights
Westboro Church Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
River Styx
Misogynistic Pigmen
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
River Phlegyas
Scientologists
Circle VII Burning Sands
Condo Associations
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Animal Abusers
Circle IX Frozen in Ice
Much as I hate to admit it, I read the “Twilight” books. ALL of them. Why? They aren’t my normal reading, and for the record, I would consider Clive Cussler books classic literature compared to the “Twilight” books; hell, I might even prefer reading a Dan Brown novel, and I *hate* Dan Brown. I read them because I was sick and tired of hearing how awesome they were, and I wanted to have specific examples of badness to rebut arguments with (no really, it’s true). I didn’t buy them, I read them online (ha!) on my blackberry (haha!) during lunch breaks (hahaha!) and they took me all of about five hours to read, collectively, if that is any indication of their reading level (I’m guessing about 1st grade). I also watched the movie, and I was just as unimpressed with that as I was with the books. Actually, I was even MORE disappointed, because when the books are that bad, usually the movie is better; I mean, when you’re at the absolute BOTTOM of the barrel, there is only room to go up, right?
And I could write a massive essay on why I think the Twilight books suck, but I think the internet has already covered all my arguments (Bella is a wimpy ineffectual horn-dog, Edward is a manipulative psycho, that werewolf kid is really the only redeeming character in the books, sort of, until he almost um, rapes Bella, or something, but that’s OK because she forgives him, or whatever).
SO it turns out that, before all this Twilight nonsense, there were these other books, called “The Vampire Diaries,” which have now been turned into a TV show on CWTV. They were first published in 1991, which is quite a bit before this whole “Twilight” nonsense. They aren’t exactly the same, but they do have one thing in common that, to be honest, absolutely boggles my mind:
In both of these series, century+ old vampires feel the urge, for some reason, to return to high school.
Let that sink in a little bit. You have no need to turn on your suspension of disbelief here, so consider this: you’re over a hundred years old, you’ve lived through just about every war in recent history, you’re probably pretty smart if you’ve managed to stay alive all this time (oh wait, I forgot, one of the other things that these two series have in common is the vampires can go out during the day and not be reduced to a pile of ash) and oh yes, you’ve probably eaten LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE along the way, right? No, again, another thing these series have in common is our main Vampire McSteamy is a “vegetarian” who doesn’t eat people. But he has friends who are not so nice. And the ultimate thing that these have in common? Not only do these hundred-plus year old vegetarian UV-tolerant vampires return to high school, but they also are interested in dating high school girls.
Really? Because the only thing worse, in my opinion, than returning to high school, would be to date a high schooler. And they’re doing both.
Can someone please explain to me when and why vampires went from sexy-because-they’re-evil to sexy-because-they’re-magical-but-not-evil? And on what planet ANYONE could reasonably suspend their disbelief long enough to think for one MOMENT that anyone over the age of 25 would ever consider going back to high school, or dating a twatty teenager??
Just to recap what these books have in common:
Fuck that. I like my vampires evil. Think Spike or Angelus from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Or ya know…Dracula.
This is a common theme for me, and I wonder how often other people deal with this sort of thing. I’m at the point where I’m tired of constantly accommodating people’s lack of planning, and I refuse to hurry for any deadlines other than my own now.
Current scenario:
Dude needs his group added to this communications system I manage (with the help of those monkey-trog douche-nozzles in the Lotus Notes group). In order to do this, I need a list of information from him, which I provided to him a couple months ago when he first contacted me inquiring about the system. I never heard back from him, and figured since he was sending technical data to Japan, that he had decided to just go through The Program Office rather than set up his own system and have to worry about export and proprietary, etc. Fast-forward to three weeks ago when I’m out with ineedtosleepinandplayvideogamesitis (aka was enjoying a flex time-induced three day weekend), of course this is the day he emails me saying he needs to get this set up RIGHT [THE FUCK] NOW because The Program Office refuses to process his shit for him, insisting he go through his own organization.
Ready?
SO I get a call on my cell phone from a coworker telling me we have a dude who is loosing his shit because I’m out today, so I trudge my cranky ass into work to meet with this guy because IT’S SUCH A FUCKING EMERGENCY AND HE JUST HAS TO GET THIS DATA TO JAPAN TODAY even though it’s FRIDAY and they are probably all asleep in bed in their time zone (where I wanted to be). And what happens?
The motherfucker stands me up. I go in ON MY DAY OFF, with NO hope of getting overtime, to appease this toolbag, and HE STANDS ME UP.
Well, fuck that. Anyway, I think he knows that he’s in the shit house, because the FOLLOWING week this dude’s BOSS contacts me to set up a meeting about the system.
Ready?
Dude’s Boss sent me a meeting notice for a 10:30AM meeting Friday morning. He sent the meeting notice at 9:25AM Friday morning. I was (yes! you know it!) on a THREE DAY WEEKEND, but had come in for a minute at lunch time to sign some papers for HR so I checked my email and saw the meeting notice, so sent him back a “I suggest this other time to meet” notice for the following Monday before going home. He gets it, gets frustrated, and proceeds to call/email me about a dozen times over the rest of the day demanding I meet with him that day.
I get in on Monday, explain to him “dude’s boss, I was on vacation on Friday, and you sent me the meeting notice with an hour heads up anyway, so let’s meet this week” but of course he’s up in Canadia on business for the week so I tell him “look, you just need to send me this information, the list of information I provided to dude months ago, here is the email I sent him, here is a presentation explaining why I need this, and you can just email me this information and I will have this set up when you get back from Canadia.” He ignores my email, comes back, and insists on an in-person meeting.
So we have our in-person meeting, during which I bring a print out of the emails and presentation I had already sent him and say “so this is what I want,” and he says “that’s it? that’s all you need?”
//headdesk
RTFQ. READ YOUR FUCKING EMAIL, PEOPLE.
So I tell this guy you get me this information, and I will request new user groups from the Lotus Notes group, who take “a few days” to get new groups set up in the system, and he says “oh, that’s all? great! so we’ll be cooking next week!” and everything seems copasetic. We met on Monday, he sent me his information on Wednesday, and I put in the request that afternoon for the new groups.
The following day I get this email from him:
“This is a list that is needed to support my Team’s activities I expect that you may receive similar requests from other teams but if possible I would you to put this into the [system] ASAP. I am late in delivering on my action item commitments and would therefore like to get the system updated quickly to allow me to catch up.”
I ignore this email because, let’s be honest, a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Today I get this email from him:
“Where do we stand on this? I tried calling you but you were not at your desk. I will try again later.
I would like to get this update completed today or tomorrow. The current configuration of the system does not meet our needs for the [some] program (as I think you discussed with Dude’s Boss) and I am anxious to get [my technical data] to [Japan] early this week.”
I respond:
“As I said to your boss, it takes a few days to get the groups requested. I requested them after our meeting last week, and am waiting for them to be applied to the database. I will let you know when it is ready.”
He responds:
“Who does this I was under the impression that you did it. Is there someone else I need to lean on to get this done faster?”
I respond:
“The Lotus Notes group has to create the groups and attach them to a database. There is no getting it faster, it just takes the time it takes due to how our lotus notes databases are set up here.”
He responds, CCing SomeDude from IT he’s friends with:
“ITDude: Can you expedite this please? -Dude”
REALLY!? I’m done helping him. I am leaving early and I don’t give a shit if he sends me a dozen more emails today. I FWD this entire ridiculous email chain to the actual IT people I am dealing with (not the random ITDude he emailed) just so they are aware someone is probably going to bitch at them at some point in the future over something they have no control over, and it’s not my fault.
//SIGH
Yes, it’s true, I’m only updating because my mother whined that Catherine updates her blog more often than I do. She’s obviously a better daughter, who openly and publically keeps her family aware of the goings on in her life, whereas I am some giant black hole of…no really, I made one of those “how well do you know me” quizzes that have been tearing through facebook like wildfire, and my mother only scored a 25%, so she’s actually upset.
Today I am going to bitch about bumper stickers on cars at work. “But Sidney,” you may want to say, “that is FREE SPEECH and we all know you support free speech!” Yeah, yeah, I do, but guess what? When you work for The Man & Big Brother, Inc. YOU DO NOT GET FREE SPEECH. It is not covered in the employee handbook, so suck it up and remove your OFFENSIVE, MISOGYNISTIC, HATEFUL bumper stickers before I have to vandalize your car. I refuse to even take/post photos of the offensive sticker, but know it involves a photo of SWEET BABY JEZUZ, red dripping bloody letters and the words “abortion” and “murder” in the same sentence. Yeahhh….
On to happier topics. I have so far survived about six rounds of layoffs here at The Man & Big Brother, Inc. Which means I still have a job, though no guarantees past December. I was talking to EE last night about some of the drama (not publish-worthy, I assure you) that’s gone on in my life lately and – supportive friend/ex that she is – she says, “well, it seems like you have fewer and fewer reasons to stay in New England. Maybe it’s time to move?” Maybe, indeed. The prospect of job searching, job finding, and moving, all absolutely TERRIFY me. I’m only 28 though, so I’m supposed to still be footloose and fancy-free, right? The problem is, if I leave CT people will “expect” me to go to one of three places – back to South Florida where I grew up and where my father’s family still lives, out to Las Vegas where my mother’s family lives now, or to San Fransisco where I have been saying I wanted to live since I was 16 years old and where I have many, MANY friends and alums from my college, and where I would probably have a much easier time meeting women than here in CT where my two friends and I always call each other and ask, “hey, have you ever been on a date with so-and-so?” before going out with a new lady, I do not exagerate the queer community is THAT small, between the three of us we’ve covered most of the lesbians between New Haven and Springfield, possibly even Northampton. CoCo and Kevin want me to go to Atlanta, KT wants me to go to Austin, B wants me to go to Oregon…these are all nice suggestions, but I have no idea where **I** would want to move. Other than San Fransisco, but I hate the thought of living in a crappy share with multiple housemates, one who would probably have some big smelly dog that would chew up all my underwear…I’m just so spoiled sharing my condo with my two cats and one roomie and having my own little balcony where I tame squirrels and my pilates studio (and you know how hard it is to find a good place to exersize) with my trainer who I love…I may hate CT, but there is something to be said for the quality of life I manage to have here, despite the high(ish) cost of living.
So I went on over to findyourspot.com and took the quiz. I’m not sure it really listened to me. Hmm. Here is a sampling of my suggestions:
I plugged in my portable harddrive from college and started looking through files and started thinking…
…what were we thinking?
Embarassing college decisions, in no particular order:
I actually had to say the following to someone this week: “Please do not do that [fart] in my face. If you need to do that [yes, fart], please remove yourself to the bathroom, where that [he was doing it in my face!!] is considered appropriate. Or at least walk a few feet away from me to be polite.”
“Yeah, she’s a GIRL! A GIRL is the new BOSS!” – my coworkers amazement that one of the new model managers is actually a WOMAN. My response was “oh, is she younger than I am? When you refer to a professional working woman as I girl, I picture some little tween sitting in a cube wearing her mother’s clothes.”
“God, someone needs to give him a blow job or something, he’s wound so tight. Any volunteers?” – said at the lunch table by a very high-level manager. I was, of course, the only woman at the table, and everyone looked at me and giggled.
“You’re not allowed to complain about a colonoscopy in front of me. I’ve had to have my vagina cranked open and examined every year since I was 18! You don’t have anything to complain about!” – ok, I said this one at the lunch table, and am still a little shocked that I said such a thing. Really though, I’m so tired of all the guys who are turning 50 whining and moaning about this procedure, especially in front of my boss who had cancer down there and gets really upset when they talk about skipping their check-ups. Anyway, we have a saying, “What goes on at the lunch table, stays at the lunch table.”
How hard is it to spell my name correctly? When you send an email, you see the following:
Why is it then I get emails with my name spelled “Sydney,” “Syndy,” “Syndney,” and – horror of horrors – “Cyndy/ie?!?” Learn to read, people!
OMGWTFBBQ MICROSOFT YOU SUCK. Why did you decide that when copying and pasting data into cells in Excel they should attempt to retain their original formatting!? Because I have to say – NO ONE wants them to retain their original formatting. We just want to alt+tab ctrl+p alt+tab ctrl+c alt+tab etc., but we can’t do that because we have to click on the stupid fucking input bar so whatever is in our paste buffer is pasted as plain fucking text. You seriously screwed the pooch on this one, AMONG OTHERS…don’t even get me started on your automatic text formatting that tries to turn my parameter names into exponents, ARGH.
DO NOT forward me non-work related emails, ESPECIALLY if you’re my boss! It is just completely inappropriate to forward anything with a prayer, “advice” on how to save gas/money/baby seals, or any stupid/incorrect histrionic warning that ends up on snopes the next day debunked as a total farce.
Seriously learn to listen. If I tell you “we cannot have x, y, or z until the IT department releases a, b, and c to us” do not then go to your boss and say, “hey, paperhurts is holding up our ability to have x, y, or z!” I do not work in the IT department, and I’m pretty sure the Lotus Notes group has an office in Hells annex. It would explain why they never answer their phone and only randomly respond to email.
Learn to read (part deux!)!!!! If the title of one powerpoint slide says:
Requesting a Lotus Notes Domino Web ID
And the title of another powerpoint slide says:
Requesting access to [Proprietary System of The Man and Big Brother, Inc.]
Do NOT do the former, and then get pissed when it doesn’t achieve the latter! You sent a request for access to a system that I OWN to the Lotus Notes group – we’re not even sure if they exist, or it’s just one drunk monkey tapping on keys who occasionally gets a request correct – so don’t be surprised/pissed off/complain to your boss that “access to [Proprietary System of The Man and Big Brother, Inc. is taking too long!” while pointing your non-literate finger at myself. I just might accidentally add you to every standard distribution list, and see you complain later when you’re receiving 400+ emails/day on every single entry in that database!
I really hate it when I’m on the phone with someone and they go off on some ridiculous tirade against some perceived injustice by the world at large – usually an injustice caused by being offended at how people are running their own lives – a “railroad” argument as I like to call them, when someone is so wound up they start ranting and no one can get a word in at all because the person arguing doesn’t even take a breath and all you want to do is derail their whole discussion because they are just going off on you at this point but unfortunately for you and anyone else stuck listening to them they are convinced that they are passing along some enlightening wisdom to you and they really need to express their opinion and anyway your opinion does not really matter since you’re just peripherally involved in this conversation and not a participant in the actual debate at hand because there really IS no debate and you’re just here to listen to this person lecture and not disagree with them at all and just smile and nod OK? (take a breath now)
The most asinine argument I have never had with someone recently was about the following: “America is a consumer culture to the point of ridiculousness.” Now initially I would agree with this statement, but the person making the argument went on to lambast the following “over-consumers:”
Citing an example from “Twilight,” now really. I roll my eyes at ANYONE who cites “Twilight” as an indication of current societal trends, unless they are lamenting the apparent lack of literary culture required for such a piece of tripe to make it to bestseller status. Is there anyone who read that book who would argue with me that it’s nothing more than teeny-bopper masturbation manual with no redeeming qualities AT ALL??
I apparently lack basic life skills, because I can never remember to return movies on time. As such, I am contributing to our bloated consumer culture, putting independent bookstores out of business, or maybe it is libraries I am offending, I’m not quite sure.
Example #2: “Americans are entitled.” Well now there is one argument I would NEVER want to argue with, right? WRONG. Her examples for “entitlement” include the following:
I would like to point out that from what I understand the point of insurance is the following:
“…the equitable transfer of the risk of a loss, from one entity to another, in exchange for a premium, and can be thought of as a guaranteed small loss to prevent a large, possibly devastating loss…”
So she is guaranteed small loss, in order to later prevent a larger loss. She interprets this in a very narrow way, claiming that insurance should only cover emergency situations (“catastrophes”), and that we should just pay out of pocket for routine medical care. In her mind, this would “significantly lower premiums and the cost of health care in general.” Fuck the huge percent of our population who cannot even afford premiums, let alone out of pocket medical expenses, because they’re just another example of “entitled Americans who abuse the system.”¹
I’m sorry, but I think that PREVENTATIVE MEDICINE is something that is very much undervalued in our culture, because people would rather put a band on a cut then spend the time training someone to avoid getting the cut. Honestly I think Pilates and AIS should be covered by insurance because it has significantly lowered the frequency of my visits to the doctor and chiropractor for miscellaneous back issues, and essentially works as physical therapy. I in no way support insurance fraud, but no matter how I tried to explain that, by the fact that I would DARE to submit a “NON-MEDICAL” claim to my health insurance company means I’m “abusing the system and ruining it for the rest” of the world.
Anyway, </therapeutic rant>.
¹ I should note that I think there are tons of people who – as a result of not having a job that provides them with health insurance – completely abuse Medicair/etc. I’m not talking about them right now. If I think about them, I will get sad that we do not have an economically conservative – yet – socially liberal political party in this country.
A few days ago I had some minor QL spasms and worked with my trainer to get the kinks out. Despite doing awesome stretchy-spine exercises, which did help quite a bit, they progressed up my back to turn into a total neck crimp; I couldn’t turn or tilt my head to the left. After my boss made fun of me for about four hours for the fact I couldn’t turn my head to look at people when they came to my desk to speak with me, I visited my very awesome chiropractor and had an adjustment. He warned me I would still be very sore for a few days, but after e-stim, heat, and a ton of cracks, I felt immensely better and could move my head again!
…and then a few hours later I tried to pick up a heavy box and fucked it all up again. By this time I could not get to either trainer, chiropractor, OR doctor (as they were closing) and ibuprofen was just NOT cutting it. I broke down and went to the hospital…despite the fact that it was Friday afternoon and I was essentially going in there to say “I’m in lots of pain and ibuprofen and heat aren’t relieving it, please give me something stronger” aka “I’m drug-seeking.”
It was, amazingly, the most pain-free ED visit I have ever experienced. I walked in, explained to the triage nurse the issue, told her it wasn’t an emergency but couldn’t get in to see my doctor, and got sent to fast track/zone 3 where they send the people who aren’t in imminent danger of dying. While in the waiting room I enjoyed the exciting company of three drunks, two migraineurs, and someone with a “sprained ankle” who couldn’t remember, after talking to me about how bad it was in between text messaging her boyfriend, which ankle it was that had the injury. Despite getting there AFTER all of these (obviously frequent flying) patients, I got in before them, was poked once by the PA, and given a scrip for 12 hydrocodone and sent on my merry way…all in under 2 hours.
I should have asked for ultracet and skelaxin (both worked wonders last time I had neck spasms), because it turns out the vicodin just really eats up my stomach, and so I’m back where I started, in pain, and advil not cutting it. I’m going to go for a massage on Monday, and back to the chiropractor, and remind myself next time that any drugs that require a DEA number to prescribe just fuck up my stomach.
Anyway, this wonderful ER visit (props to Manchester Memorial for having such a well-run fast-track program) reminded me of the LAST time I went in there, when I had pneumonia.
I was waiting in the waiting room for almost two hours wheezing, sent over from my PCP’s office after I had an O2 sat of 82, before even making it back to triage (despite telling the RN at check-in that I couldn’t breathe), and in that time an old woman came in via ambulance, accompanied by a friend. The EMT driver checked her in with the check-in RN, and then she and her friend sat down right across from me. After waiting a whopping five minutes the two old biddies started complaining.
“Sick” old biddie: What’s taking so long? I came in by ambulance!! That’s supposed to get me straight in!!
“Sick” old biddie’s friend: I know! God, these people don’t know what they’re doing. You could be dying out here!
“Sick” old biddie: Maybe I should tell them I have chest pain?
“Sick” old biddie’s friend: That ought to get you back there! You should tell the nurse that!
Over the next ten minutes this “sick” old woman – who arrived via ambulance, probably paid for by medicare – got up three fucking times to essentially complain about the wait. Her thinly disguised entitlement was wrapped up in questions such as, “do you need any more information from me?” and “did the EMT check me in already? should I sign something else?” Finally I hear her tell her friend, “that’s IT! I’m going up there and telling them that I’m having chest pain!” when they triage nurse comes out and calls my name. I stand up to follow the nurse back, and in my peripheral vision I see “sick” old biddie rise and walk towards the triage area as well.
She can’t possibly be following me in. She’s just going to ask the check-in RN another question. No one would be so bold as to follow someone else into triage! I naively thought to myself. No, that entitled bitch surely did follow me into triage – as I was walking in the nurse I was following asked me “oh, is she with you?” to which I responded “NO, she is NOT, and she is planning on telling you that she has chest pain so she can cut her wait time short, just so you know!” They forced her to leave the triage area, and as soon as she was gone the triage nurse told the check-in nurse “oops, did you just accidentally misplace that nice old ladies paperwork so she loses her place in line?”
Yeah, suck it, entitled bitch. One day you’ll have a REAL emergency, but there will be no money left to pay for it because of all the many times you and people like you abused the system.
With the exception of my few posts on best and worst first dates (and I plan on writing a few more of those, in case you’re wondering), I don’t really talk about my sexuality here. That also goes for real life as well; it’s not something that comes up in general conversation, excepting my repeated reminders to my friends that not everyone in the room is straight when they start saying things are “gay.” Maybe if I start dating a woman with more regularity I can stop having to remind people…anyway, on to the topic at hand.
All of a sudden lately it seems like everything bad is “gay.” “Gay this” and “gay that” and “that’s so gay” and it is really starting to get on my nerves. In vent chat with my guild last night, I heard no less than five people call something/someone “gay,” and I was offended and annoyed. In the same way I was sick and tired in middle/high school when everyone was a “fag.” “God, you’re such a fag!” I remember Tommy calling Josh in 3rd or 4th grade, and there began my first steps to being a social pariah when I decided to correct Tommy and lecture him on why he shouldn’t be calling people fags.
It is rude and wrong to use the word “gay” with negative meaning; it’s homophobic and it makes you, the user, look uneducated. You want to tell someone they’re stupid? Tell them they’re a raging ignoramus. Someone’s a total asshole? Just call them a Richard Cranium; it’s fun watching people try and figure out what you’ve just called them.
Q. Why do people not realize how homophobic it is to use the phrase “that’s so gay” with a negative connotation!?
A. People are ignorant, lazy and ill-witted buffoons would rather use slanguage than actually stop and think about how to properly express their feelings/opinions.
I’m [not really very] sorry to play “the race card,” but would you use a racial word in such a way? I can just imagine the outrage if a bunch of white suburban yuppie-offspring started saying “that’s so NIGGER” or “that’s so BLACK!” What about religion? How about “that’s so JEWISH?” So why is it ok for people to say “that’s so GAY?”¹
***** In which I liberally use HTML tags for ordered lists to debunk lazy arguments, and try my best to avoid fun words like “heterocentric” *****
Honestly, I can more easily forgive Obama for picking that pillock Rick Warren for praying at inauguration than I can a friend next time I hear this ignorant phrase come out of their mouth. Obama made his choice, I think, in the hopes of showing he was interested in true diversity, even in the kind his voter base isn’t a fan of, and I suppose that’s OK as long as he publicly bitch-slaps Warren if he crosses any lines with his prayer.
I’ll leave you on a light note; in an email conversation with my favorite activist (and leading expert on the religious right) Frederick Clarkson, he says, and I quote:
saying it’s so gay is so passe (and has always been so offensive) that it is so gay to say that it’s so gay. ;-)
¹ I understand that most minority communities experience ongoing discrimination in this country, which is why this argument works. A great read about this particular topic can be found at The Bilerco Project.
I’ve been really sick this week, and so have been working from home. Bronchitis, sinusitis, and conjunctivitis; no, I’m not joking. I’m one big walking itis bomb of doom, and my boss didn’t want me infecting everyone right before the holiday. Good for them, but I’m the one who will end up taking time without pay for the two days he refused to let me do anything.
Yesterday my big-boss called me at home at 8am. After determining that I still “sound awful,” he informed me he was putting me on speaker phone, because he “needs to find out what’s going on over in [my] area!”
Another guy comes on the phone and tells me he was in a meeting with Matty Dilbert* the other day, who, along with John Dilbert, basically pitched a little hissie fit claiming that I was causing work-stop issues because I was “not letting them communicate with [[Company X]] using the new [[communications system I manage]].” This is all behind my back, and to a group of other employees who may or may not know me, but there is my name being totally bad-mouthed by these pansy-assed little punks.
I inform my boss of the following facts:
So did he just not listen to me? He showed up at my desk and interrupted me while I was on a telecon, with an employee from [[Company X]], to demand to know why they couldn’t use the system externally yet. I found it HIGHLY unprofessional that he would come over and essentially accuse me of not doing my job in front of an employee from another company, and wanted to wring his scrawny neck right there. I really don’t understand why I explained all this to him on Monday, and then at some point on Wednesday he was telling a bunch of people that I was holding things up for his group.
The phone call ended with me telling my boss that I quit working as communications manager. I just don’t want to deal with this bullshit anymore, and I have three other jobs to do that are more intellectually stimulating and don’t involve answering 10,000 emails a day asking dumb questions that they could answer themselves if they had either come to one of my training sessions, or read the packet of instructions I sent them. I just don’t see the point in continuing to work a job that makes me miserable; let them find someone new to do this job, and then they’ll really have something to complain about.
Another ridiculous work issue just came into my inbox; I’m going to copy and paste for your enjoyment (sanitized of course):
As many of you know there is an issue with the series of part numbers that [[partner company]] assigned to [[our company]] for parts in the [[engine program]]. The 10E type numbers are recognized within Microsoft Excel as a mathematical exponential function instead of a part number. Although this problem would appear to be solved by entering the numbers into Excel as a “text” field, it has been found that the software automatically reverts to a mathematical function when used/interrogated by other companion software. Since Microsoft Excel is used by both [[partner company]] and [[our company]] to review and manipulate BOM [bill of material] data, it has been decided to stop issuing 10E type number and issue 10G type numbers instead
Effective immediately, when you clone a part number for use in the [[engine program]] you will get a 10G type part number instead of a 10E type part number. You do not need to do anything different when cloning, but your part number will be different.
That’s right. We make jet engines. We employ the world’s best and brightest engineers (according to the banner hanging on the 2nd floor). But we have been foiled by Microsoft Excel! Due to an insufficiency in the way Excel handles data, we have had to change how we number engine parts.
Does anyone else find that absolutely ridiculous? I really can’t start talking about how misused I think Microsoft Excel is around here, or I just won’t stop, but I will say this: Microsoft Excel is not a database. Please stop using it as such.
* in case you hadn’t noticed, I change all engineer names to Something Dilbert.