I promised a post on the Epic Fail of Today…well, call me a gal of her word. Word.
Today we had a FIRE DRILL. We have these often enough where I work; combine a ton of highly flammable chemicals/gasses/metals/machines/jet engines/etc. with humans and, well…you have to be safe, right? They are, for the most part, unannounced.
Todays was different. Todays was announced, warned, and…well, instructions were given.
I will paraphrase heavily in my Normal Blogitization Style:
- In the event of an fire employees are required to notify everyone “by using a FIRE ALARM BOX” in ya know…the manner common sense dictates.
- Know how to get the fuck out of the building; you’re next to them skunk rat boys, and they have tons of “highly flammable” substances laying around, ya know!
- SHUT DOWN ALL NON-ESSENTIAL EQUIPMENT INCLUDING YOUR COMPUTER PRIOR TO EVACUATING IN CASE OF A FIRE (seriously? wut?the?fuck?)
- QUICKLY HIDE/SECURE ALL EXPORT/PROPRIETARY/TOP-SECRET DATA PRIOR TO LEAVING THE BUILDING. “Remember: you MUST quickly secure all confidential information.”
- “Proceed to the nearest safe exit in an orderly manner. DO NOT rush, push, stop, or attempt to retrieve personal items that are not in your immediate area. (Coats/hats hanging on a remote rack, Etc.)”
- Go to ::whatever meeting area you are supposed to know you are supposed to meet at that is not contained in this email:: immediately after leaving your desk.
- DO NOT attempt to reenter the building until Big Officials In Uniforms inform you it is acceptable to do so.
- And then yet even more bullet points on not attempting to “go against the flow” of people exiting in order to retrieve personal belongings.
So today we practiced what we already know:
- In case of fire we should walk like baaing sheep out of the building, but only after we have 1a. secured all important data 1b. shut down computers, fans, lights, etc. 1c. left behind all personal belongings
- Meet at some (unknown, predetermined) location with no personal belongings and
- Hope it is not a real fire since if it is, we’re not getting in our cars to drive home.
I love my job. So much, I cheer and rejoice that I am applying at Other Companies in The Man & Big Brother, Inc. Family.
…no, really, I am. What else am I going to do? My skill set is very specific.