The Man & Big Brother, Inc. strives to maintain a safe workplace…objectives: eliminate injury; reduce pollutants; conserve natural resources; yadda yadda.
Every year in order to get a new sticker on my badge for access to the plant, I have to take a refresher EHS class. What’s EHS you might ask? Environmental Health & Safety. Now, I do think it is important to know what to do if someone falls off a lift, or loses a hand in a machine, or spills caustic acid all over the shop floor…but the questions I have to answer in order to “pass” the test are a little ridiculous.
Some include (sanitized for obvious reasons):
Which of the following are not permitted at The Man & Big Brother, Inc. facilities?
- Horseplay
- Fighting
- Gambling
- Stealing (oh yeah? tell that to the jerk who stole my redbull from the fridge)
- All of the above
Access shall not be blocked to emergency equipment, exits, telephones, safety equipment, fire extinguishers, and other fire equipment.
- True
- False
In which of the following areas are safety glasses NOT required? (ooh, trick question!)
- Office work area where employees are using tools
- All shop areas
- Outdoor work areas where employees are using tools
- Cafeteria while eating
Which of the following may occur if you are found to have violated an EHS rule?
- A violation report will be filed
- You could be suspended
- Your supervisor will not be happy with you
- All of the above
You can see these are real brain-taxing questions. I especially love the answer “your supervisor will not be happy with you,” but it’s true; the few times I’ve violated some policy (such as forgetting to input my time at the end of the day) my supervisor has, indeed, not been happy with me. The safety handbook also specifically mentions we must “communicate in English with the level of proficiency necessary to ensure our safety and the safety of others.” You don’t need to be able to communicate about anything else in English; just know how to say “excuse me sir, but you really should be wearing a hardhat and safety glasses on that forklift!” or “beware of this spill, it will make the skin of your feet fall off and your children look like lobsters!”
Typical example of what happens when policies are enforced from somewhere high up. Some high manager probably gets a yearly visit from some kind of official inspector from ‘headquarters’ or from some government agency asking : “What are you doing to maintain safety standards?” Reply: “Well, we test every single employee on their knowledge of Environmental Health & Safety.” Inspector: “Did you not forget the test this year.” Reply: “No, they have all just been tested.” Inspector: “Okay, then you are safe.”
Of course the higher management wants to avoid at all cost that any employee can’t enter the building, because then they can’t finish work on their projects.
Johan Lont´s last blog post..jclont: @elana_s It wasn’t me!
Those questions look very familliar. Either we work at the same place, or those questions are off some standard EH&S form.