I’ve been thinking about writing a little about Facebook for awhile now, and finally I’ve been spurned to action; The Doorman has an interesting post about random people from his past whom he has become friends with via Facebook. This is very timely because I’ve just received a barrage of new Facebook friend requests from…People From My Past. So here is a recap of SOME of the worst (and one best!) weird and “inappropriate” Facebook friend requests I have received in the past few months…
Middle school popular bitch; a little background: middle school was basically hell for me; I was in band, in gifted, wore braces and glasses, and was a total clueless tomboy. I had no idea that between 5th and 6th grade girls were supposed to start shaving their legs! So one day after P.E., as I’m self-consciously changing because my mother has not gotten me any bras yet, she yells “Ewwww! Get something to cover those nasty things up!”
Really? Now I realize that it was probably a normal every day thing for a trog like her to drop an insult so nasty and mean, but…why the fuck was she looking at my boobs, anyway? That was really upsetting for super-tomboy-socially-awkward 12-year old me. Needless to say I hit “ignore” to her friend request.
Another friend request came from a guy who unfortunately was also in the I.B. program at my high school, so we shared 75% of our classes each semester junior and senior year. He HATED me. I HATED him. He used to verbally harass one of our teachers to tears, and I would yell at him about it and tell him to his face in front of everyone that I thought he was a giant bully compensating for a tiny cock. When we dissected pigs and my girlfriends and I refused because we were vegetarians, he threw little pig organs at us for a week. I blocked him on Facebook, and while I was at it, searched out other people who I couldn’t stand in high school and blocked them as well.
A girl who tried to get me arrested for things I Did Not Do in high school added me as a friend. Really? BAN!
Another friend request came in from someone whom I am actively afraid of, so I won’t go into many details. Creepy Fuck stalked/harassed me online and in real life for years and did some truly heinous things to both me and friends of mine. I’ve been ignoring him for years, but you know that Morrissey song, “the more you ignore me, the closer I get…”
And of course, I received a friend request from Super Crazy Bitch. I’m not friends with her and I have made it clear by blatantly ignoring multiple years worth of friend requests on just about every social networking site that she finds me on that I really want nothing to do with her and her crazies. I also banned her. Ban, ban, ban – I love that feature.
One of the first times someone added me for reasons I couldn’t fathom, it was someone who I was stuck dealing with both in school, band, and church – and in all of those places, we didn’t get along (you know it’s bad if you can’t get along with someone, even at church). I sent her a “nice” message basically saying, “we weren’t friends, if I recall correctly you were a bossy bitch who annoyed me, but if you want to get to know each other now that’s cool.” Her response? “Well you were a know-it-all little shit who drove me crazy, but I’m game if you are.” We’re actually pretty decent friends now, so I’m glad I kept an open mind about her.
So sometimes I end up getting to know someone I never would have in high school or middle school, and think to myself “ok, so maaaaaaybe I can see some value in these stalker sites.” There are a few people who I never hung out wtih just based on that vast cultural chasm between high school juniors and seniors, and I’m really happy that we had Facebook around so we could find each other and become friends now that one year of age difference isn’t a big deal anymore. So for the most part my experience with Facebook has been a good one, and I have been able to use it for the purposes intended.
Does anyone else have any fun stories of weird friend requests on any kind of “social networking” site? Please share in the comments!